Kind of hard. Recently. Reasonable number of stressors and a distinct lack of ability to deal with them.
I've had some struggles with mood and my mentals.
I went to the GP about a month ago, because I knew I wasn't okay.
She was a bit shit.
SO I went again today and the one I saw was really lovely.
listened and I didn't have to go into gory details like last time, or
fill in any scales on the computer. She told me it was okay.
made me promise not to do anything stupid if I felt bad and to make an
appointment with her if I felt like it was heading that way. She
prescribed me some tablets and gave me a number for CBT.
Also I've got to book a blood test for everything, including to check my Thyroid because sometimes that's the cause.
I'm going to see her again in a month.
Hope ya'll are doing well.
Here's my Mother's Day Card and a Birthday Card I did for my friend.
Secondly I passed my practice mocks without revision. Bodes well. Gotta work hard now. Mock on Wednesday and the actual exam a week later. A few placement shifts this week. Need to get back on top of things.
Bit of thing goin' on with Dex.
I'm not gonna say much but I really do not want to jinx it.
He wants a Monkey tat and asked me to draw him one.
I dunno. He likes it though so.
I mean, it's cute, and I like it but as a tat?
There's a new Foyle's Bookshop in Waterloo Station.
So I got this.
Also, my younger sis was playing these CDs in the car and it was proper nostalgic, so I bought a copy to play when me and my big sis and bro-in-law do the road trip down to Devon this weekend for the little one's 23rd Birthday.
(She'll be older than Dex. Weird. Really. Really. Weird. But you know it feels kind of right so. I don't actually notice.)
And this is my knee update. I've done three shifts on placement and everyone there is really nice. Catching up on the required paperwork now... Urgh.
But yeah, the scar is all the way between my thumb and forefinger. The fluid lump is still there but I think it's shrunk a little bit...
Also. Check the curly hair. Maddy permed it for me a couple months ago. I love it.
To tell them I'm not okay. She was about 12, rosy-cheeked and seemed like she was from a very nice middle-class family. I'm making judgements. I don't give a fuck.
She gave me a number to get onto a CBT waiting list and basically told me my uni probably has some kind of counseling support. Then she added that in a couple of weeks, if I really felt like I couldn't manage anymore (basically if I'm suicidal, which I'm not right now, thanks) then we could discuss some medication options.
Basically I'm not sad enough for actual concern. Fucking bullshit.
Anyway. I scanned these. They're pretty clean scans so I'll only clean them if they're ever gonna be used for something.
In other news. I had a bad time this weekend a bit. I'm putting it here so I go through with it. I'm definitely going to make an appointment with the GP. This endless knee stuff is getting a bit hard.
And here it is. A week after falling over like a fucking idiot, the
swelling has mostly gone down, but there's this weird fluid lump that
hasn't gone away. Thus the abnormal shape. Hopefully I'll hear from my consultant tomorrow. I really need him to check it out.
Here's my sis. Wearing my hat.
I bought her two early birthday presents to keep her company after I came back to London.
And Ralph. Who I love and even though he's super annoying I would bring back here with me if I could.
So. I'm smug because I woke up this morning with a face in my head. So before I got dressed or anything I translated it into my sketch book. He's a wee cheerful octopus. I also wanted to come up with something for the spring issue of wttmw (what's the time Mrs. Woolf).
The Littlest Triffid happened and I'm really pleased. I'll clean him up and submit him when I'm back in London.
Anti-valentines this year. Not sure why. I just am extremely bitter about feelings at the moment. And some cunt has gone to Brazil for a bit over a week, firstly, I'm jealous and secondly he basically shat all over my soul before he left so.
That's probably something to do with it.
(Got ma wee sis something though).
Also, I've been doing some work on a project I started last year. Trying to make a drawing I liked into something actual.
I'm back in London next week. Everyone who's supposed to be supporting me from school have been useless. I'm internalising stress right now. In a serious way.